*This isn’t peer-reviewed blogging, just an idea that’s occurred to me.
Ever since I can remember myself, I talk to myself and think outloud. Well, actually, the latter is more fit than the former, since most of my “conversations” are merely the vocal manifestations of thoughts, being that they’re either garbled, incoherent, and, especially when I’m thinking hard – made of bits and pieces of information that’s being processed internally.
There are 2 possible explanations I can think of for this:
A.I’m a weirdo, and this would be concordant with all kinds of other weird shit I do, like, oh, I don’t know, teach myself Japanese and spend hours every day reading blog comments or (and this is the cooler explanation)
B.Everyone has somewhat of a disposition to talk to themselves/think loudly. It is possible that thinking out loud is restricted by the social acceptance of this practice (since it can be associated with mental illness or simply with avid nervousness).
I have 3 infant cousins (all about 3 years old, they’re triplets!) – and they seem to jabber to themselves all the time. Although it’s possible they do that to “train their vocal chords” or simply because they enjoy yelling/hooting as play or because they want attention – sometimes I can distinctly hear them thinking out loud. I bet that at this early age, they’re rather impervious to the fact that thinking out loud should be embarrassing to them around other people…
Only, as a child of deaf adults, I never had that at home. I talk to myself out loud only at home or when I’m with my dad in the same car/room (and only if we’re alone/with other deaf people). It’s like his presence automatically OK’s it for me to think out loud, and I don’t consider him “around audio-wise”.
Now that my dad’s girlfriend is at our house all the time, her being hard-of-hearing and not deaf, I keep feeling like maybe I’m “thinking out loud” too loudly. There’s also the dread that she might think it’s weird.
I don’t think I can even begin to explain to her that I’m not nuts.
Well, at least, that’s not what makes me nuts.