Passover is over (heehee), and finally, we are allowed leavened bread once more. Most of the time, living in Israel doesn’t require constant endurance of religious inanity. Religious inanity is there, alright, but most of the time, I don’t get to feel it.
I feel it most strongly on Yom Kippur, when everybody is fasting, no cars are allowed, and everything is closed, without exception. I feel it in the weekends, when buses aren’t operational, and a lot of businesses are closed, preventing me from doing anything fun without a drive to Tel-Aviv or other neighboring towns.
In passover, I feel it in my stomach. See, I don’t eat that Matzos crap, not in any version whatsoever. It’s shit.
What makes it even more shit is that this whole Exodus thing didn’t happen. None of it. Good atheist that I am, I spent a whole day reading an analysis of the archeological and historical evidence for the biblical Exodus. There’s none. Zip. Nada. The archeological scientific community took a close, hard look at the middle east, scrounged whole countries for archeological evidence for anything remotely like a biblical Exodus, and found nothing. No evidence of wandering in the desert, no evidence for Israelites in Egypt, not even evidence of Israelites in Transjordan, just before they supposedly moved into Canaan and occupied it.
There’s evidence of hunter-gatherer groups in Sinai, dating back thousands of years before the supposed Exodus. There’s evidence of Byzantine settlements thousands of years later… Only an idiot or a zealot would believe that 2 million people didn’t leave a mark in 40 years of wandering, while hunter-gatherers and small nomad groups did.
So, we celebrate this entire holiday based on a myth that never occurred. We thank an non-existent deity for a liberation that never happened.
God, that’s stupid!
One final quip. In the Passover Hagada (the Passover ritual reading), we have a section which reads
“The Torah speaks of 4 sons/males (same word in Hebrew): A wise one, an evil one, a simple one and one which doesn’t know how to question”.
The Jewish tradition regarding these “sons” classifies them respectively as:
“Devout Jew, Atheist, slow-learner and utter imbecile”. The slow-learner doesn’t get what this whole Seder is about, the utter imbecile doesn’t even understand that there’s something going about at all.
The devout Jew just takes wholeheartedly everything that’s told to him and the atheist, who is dubbed “the evil son” says that the whole thing is a waste of time.
Fortunately, the Hagada says that were atheists (the evil sons) present in the exodus, God would not save them from Egypt – since that never happened, I’m probably not missing out on much.